GO VOTE FOR NON-SUCK CHARACTERS. YOU CAN'T LET AQUAMAN WIN ANYTHING!

Oh, and The Goon and Rick Grimes too. Vote for them.

Best comic shop in Maryland (Cosmic Comix) is doing a nerdy March Madness type thing with comic characters. Dorky fun. And all online. Just click away. This week it's the DC and Newbie bracket. Easy. You might learn something too as each character has a rad write up. (Aquaman stands no chance)

GO NOW, VOTE.

POWER OF A MILLION BORED READERS

This issue was solicited as:

"SIEGE BLOCKBUSTER TIE-IN!! The secrets of the Sentry are revealed but is it too late? Is this a hero reborn or a eulogy? The most pivotal moment in this controversial character's life yet is here, and how it affects the siege on Asgard will leave you breathless."

What we got in terms of the sizzlin' shockin' Sentry was:

Ooooooooooo dark and spooky sky! Oh noes black eyes!1!!1 Wooooooaaaaah same dull Sentry shit as ever!

What a lame rip-off. "Breathless"? No way. More like 4 bucks-less.

COACH SEZ HIT THE SHOWERS!: INCREDIBLE HERCULES #128

It takes a bit for a comic to offend me sufficiently that I'm willing to comment on the artistic skill of the creators. However, sometimes you can only go so far before someone has to call bullshit. These panels in Incredible Hercules #128 fulfill that requirement.

Now it's not the fact that it is Wolverine's crapass son Daken that is the problem here. For those that don't know Daken is Wolverine's long lost and recently discovered son. His powers have been vaguely defined in that apparently by means of exuded pheromones he can be where you are not looking. Other than that he's got the typical Wolverine family healing factor, pretty nasty fighting skills, and of course claws. However, one of his claws comes out from the BOTTOM of his wrist rather than the top. And they're black and naturally sort-of metallic (what?). WOOOOO!

Now, all that aside, the problem here is even though he is stabbing the Greek God of the Netherworld Pluto (6' 5"/520 lbs.) through the chest with only two of his badass Lee Press-Ons, ignoring the fact that they've been miscolored white, is that the friggin' things are about 2.5 to 3 feet long. And where's that third "underclaw" living in that arm? I'll tell you where, in his ass.

The sheer physics of the things are totally impossible. Who has a three-foot forearm to fit those things in? The Hulk maybe. Not Daken. He's actually kinda shrimpy even by Wolverine standards being all skinny and Euro-trash with his tribals and long-ass mowhawk and bad daddy-issues attitude. Absolute and utter fail Marvel Comics and artist Dietrich Smith. D+. Try harder.

FAIL OF THE WEEK - THE END LEAGUE #7

It's the end of The End League for me. Oh, how witty.

From such heights to such crap. Rick Remender has my neverending respect for the creation of Fear Agent as well as his recent work on The Punisher. The 1st issue or so of The End League was very cool too. Interesting takes on charactrs and a bleak universe where the heroes are outnumbered by villains. Sweet. But, The End League has now all gone to hell. The artist changed a few issue back to the dude who did Aeon Flux back in the day, Eric Canete. Not a horrible thing, but he's just not doing it for me here. I actually listened to an interview with him a month or so back and I admire his stance on art and the how things get done. He's all about deadlines and respecting them.

Art aside, the story is straight up retarded bonkers times infinity. It started out simple enough - get this hammer and smash this dude - then veered into crazyland. Then there's the issue of about 20 too many characters running around. This can be nice on one hand because characters often get eviscerated, but overall it just sucks. I end up not caring. And bi-montly isn't helping in any way. This thing is going nowhere fast. Such neato promise for a darker kind of superhero book done by a company that isn't Marvel or DC. Oh well. I'm done with this sucker officially.